What can you learn from Reactive Doubt?
I share my personal recovery journey with reactive doubt. Silent suffering no more! I choose to share this experience from the upside of the line.
Doubt crept in a few days ago. I fully felt and observed it come and evolve into what I felt this morning. Blah, uncertain, feelings of dissatisfaction and ugh, here we go again…what can I learn from this? I allowed myself to sit with it and treat doubt as a messenger, a call for change, an opportunity to practice living with uncertainty. I know from direct experience that doubt is an inevitable part of my journey, and that I have two choices. I can choose to resist it or I can choose to welcome it. (Find My Choice below!)
Brief caption of my story with “the” doubt:
I recently made a decision to launch a project I am working on with a strategy that I contemplated on over a few weeks. I was very satisfied with the results, until doubt began to creep in…is this ego, why did I choose this, what is in it for others and why would anyone even want to be part of this…I am silly and most people are likely getting tired of my fb posts or whatever I have to say…
I can laugh about this now, however it is not funny when you are in it. I get it! I also don’t like to hear, oh, it’s all in your head or you’re just working too hard and need a break. It makes me feel minimized for what I am feeling and I feel no one understands me. And then, running away or hiding from everyone sounds like the best option…
I made a pack with myself a few months ago (the last time I went into a deep depression). Part of the pack is to allow myself to sit in the “ick” – I made a plan that respects the feelings when they arise, allowing myself the time to befriend the emotions and receive ah-ha moments as they come. The ah-ha hope moments allow me to measure the yard sticks of my mental health journey. It’s pretty cool!
Writing about my experience helps heal the relationship I have with doubt from time to time. And in the interim, I hope to share and empower others who are experiencing this too. After all, I know I am not alone.
My body, mind, soul chooses to welcome doubt as a messenger, a call for change, an opportunity to practice living with uncertainty. I breath this in as I smile and observe the unpleasant discomfort gently shift to an ah-ha moment. Resistance and clinging creates a mindset that changes to suffering. By letting it be, and welcoming it, I released some of the toxic chatter and the grey cloud that was looming over my mental state, lifted. Now, I sat with the doubt for 3 days, so I can only share that perhaps the next time doubt arises it may be 2 days…and if it’s 4 well I guess I have to go with the flow and call my self-talk coach…which by the way I am checking in with tomorrow!
May all beings attract a technique and an approach that resonates for them on their mental health journey.
Please share your own experience with doubt and how you overcame it.
With Love & Kindness,